When tipsy

I love being tipsy. Feeling tipsy. There’s nothing better (okay, not entirely true) than that sweet spot between the last sip of the first glass of vino (this varies by person) and the bottom of the second.

Not sure about you, but that’s when I’m at my peak—smart, funny, beautiful, and undeniably cool. This is the best state to make life-changing decisions. Trust me.

Please do:

• Buy a holiday trip

• Decide to cheat on your partner and actually do it before you change your mind.

• Buy a new dress (but act fast).

• Masturbate.

• Start rewatching Sex and the City.

• Message people even if you’re a Monica from Friends.

• Pour another glass.

• Write a blog post.

But whatever you do, do it before that next glass. That’s the one that starts pulling you down, turning you into a downer.

Advice from a midlife crisis woman (a.k.a. me): take a couple (or a few) paracetamols before bed.

P.S. Yes, I wrote this while tipsy.