Something weird happens after 40 - women split into Tribes. You can deny it but go look around—your girlfriends are already in one of these camps.
The Ageless Glam Squad (aka Scam).
She’s part Sofia Vergara, part Demi Moore. Botox, fillers, lashes—she’s basically sponsored by a syringe. She looks amazing, but also suspiciously… ageless. Like, how is she younger than she was 20 years ago? I want that.
The Wellness Monks.
They quit wine, quit cheese, quit fun. They sip matcha in gym outfits, post sunrise yoga selfies, and genuinely believe kombucha is a personality. (It isn’t.)
The Grey-Hair Goddesses.
They embrace their silver and own it. No dye, no Botox. These women walk into a café and suddenly everyone else looks like they’re trying too hard. Respect. Though sometimes natural deodorant is not enough, and someone should tell them.
The Party Panthers.
Still out there grinding—well, twerking—at day parties. Sequins, spritz, and a hangover that will require an ambulance the next morning. But damn, they still look like fun, at least for them.
The Domestic Divas.
They’ve turned into Nigella on steroids. Baking bread, repainting the living room, preparing the school lunch like a Michelin chef and casually throwing dinner parties that make your IKEA plates look tragic. I do know only one of those though thanks God.
The Lost Souls (aka Regular).
They don’t party, don’t meditate, don’t have a face full of filler, and definitely don’t have their shit together. They are just sitting in their pyjamas with a glass of wine, googling “is collagen a scam” while mocking everyone else on Instagram. Smart or just boring?
I am a dangerous cocktail of all six with a side of sarcasm.
Comments