“I’ll Stop Watching After This Episode” – Lies I Tell Myself

Some people relax with yoga. Others meditate. I prefer watching a Botoxed real estate agent in sky-high stilettos scream at another Botoxed real estate agent in sky-high stilettos over a champagne-fueled misunderstanding at a $15 million open house.

Hi, my name is Karolina, and I’m addicted to reality TV.

From Selling Sunset to The Kardashians to Love is Blind, I can’t stop watching beautiful people make terrible decisions. And you know what? I’m not even sorry. Because this is my guilty pleasure—and it turns out, it’s not just about the fake tans and the filtered drama. There are layers. Deep ones. Like a Louis Vuitton trunk full of emotional baggage.

The Funny Reasons I Can’t Stop Watching:

• Brain Junk Food.

  It’s like ordering a family-sized pizza when you're home alone. It is crispy, cheesy, and goes down well with wine.

• Their chaos soothes my chaos.

  Watching a thin woman crying because someone wore the same dress in a different colour makes me feel positively evolved.

• I'm mentally in the cast.

  In my mind, I’m already on Love is Blind, sipping rosé in a glittery confession booth saying, “I just don’t know if he’s emotionally available… but he has SUCH a nice voice (and body)”.

• I call it “emotional research.”

  Look, I’m just collecting data on how not to date, not to start a business with friends, and not to fight at brunch.

• I live for a heel-related injury.

  Bonus points if it happens on marble floors near an infinity pool.

The Not-So-Funny (but Very Real) Reasons:

• It’s glorious escapism.

  For 42 minutes, I don’t have to think about the rising cost of living. Instead, I’m watching someone redecorate a $12M house because the marble was “too sad.”

• It’s a human zoo.

  These shows are basically a safari into the wild terrain of the modern ego.

• Structure comforts me.

  Predictable arcs. Familiar faces. It’s like a bedtime story for my overworked brain, but with better lighting.

• It validates my life choices.

  I might not own a Birkin, but I also didn’t marry someone I met in a windowless pod after four espresso martinis and a vague conversation about “manifesting.”

• It’s community-building.

  Nothing bonds two strangers faster than whispering, “Did you see what she wore to the reunion???” Like Miranda in the 3rd series 2nd episode of Just Like That (if you watched already).

  
  

So no, I probably won’t stop watching. Not today. Not next season. I’ll be here, emotionally over-invested, furiously Googling the cast’s real Instagram handles and judging their skincare routines.