How wonderful would it be to have all three—a Chef, a Cleaner, and a Nanny—working in my house every single day? Okay, maybe I'd give them Sundays off, just so I could get a break from them. But only if, on Saturday, my kitchen is left spotless after my Chef has prepared a juicy roast and an almond-blueberry cake for Sunday.
The Chef would plan three meals a day, plus snacks, as per my cravings and desires. They’d handle all the grocery shopping with such wisdom that my food budget would stay perfectly balanced and leaving me plenty of money for important things, like clothes and shoes. They'd cook dishes that taste incredible but somehow don't add a single gram to any of my sensitive body areas—only exactly where I need a little extra shape. They’d whip up those decadent, molten chocolate brownies with magical little drops inside, drops that make you giggle instead of turning you into a grumpy, sleepy mess. Fresh, healthy juices every morning, and mood-based alcoholic cocktails in the evening. OMG…
The Cleaner would slide through the house, practically invisible, never getting in the way. They’d scrub the kitchen tiles daily, change the bed sheets every other day, and clean all the windows every three. They would iron all clothes, sheets, even underwear. Washing, organizing cupboards, tidying wardrobes and even descaling the kettle and the coffee machine!
And then, there’s the Nanny. The perfect Nanny. Highly educated, fluent in four of the most desirable languages, funny and sexy (for my husband’s sake; I don’t mind). Think of Denise Richards n her prime. I’m attaching. She’d make sure my son is never bored, always well-behaved, and completely uninterested in stupid computer games. She’d teach him manners, introduce him to the wonders of the Discovery Channel, handpick the best books for his age, and handle homework in a way that deepens his understanding of chemistry and physics. She’d have to be an Angel.
Now, I just need to figure out what I’d do.
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